‘But they need me.’
is, many-a-times, a good enough reason for us to stick around doing things we don’t really like, with people who don’t really value us.
And yet, we insist on continuing to assume that role, just a little longer, just until the dust settles, and then we can let go and find ourselves. Because we are the managers, teachers, the parents or the likes with ‘great responsibilities’, and though we wake up everyday imagining a different life for ourselves, we somehow decree that ‘now’ is a bad time to take the next step towards it.
Well, maybe reassess. Maybe your school will still have great teachers on-board to care for the students. Maybe your subordinates do not need your exaggerated effort to keep them together. Maybe your successor, no matter what role you pursue that your heart doesn’t, will do much better than you do.
Not being needed gives you the freedom that you need to walk away. That makes you dispensable – and indeed, available to the things and people you love.
Well sure, we worry all the time that we might look like quitters. But what do we see for ourselves? What would you like to be?
Don’t show up three times, and people will stop asking.
I haven’t shown up for an awful lot the recent years – not to the gym, not to my team’s outings, not for a few friends’ weddings…and the fine is too huge!
2016 was about realizing how just very few people really miss me, and crying a little bit about it. But then it dawned on me: How’ll they miss me if I’m never there?
I’m sure we all say no to a lot of things, we have our own priorities set. But when one or more of the forts of friends, family or the personal self is crumbling, it is surely time to re-assign the priorities.
2017 is that year for me. I have seen forts cracking in their pillars. Forts of personal, professional, financial and social forts. (Yes, ALL of them.) I need to renovate a little – by showing up, by catching up with lost opportunities I still miss today.
And showing up doesn’t mean being everywhere – it means showing up for what or whom you care.
It means being there for those few people, to whom your presence has no substitute.
I rode to work in a vintage Indian chariot today.
Or at least, that’s how royal I felt in the cab.
The old cabbie was no extraordinary driver, the cab wasn’t a luxurious sedan, nor was the weather any better than yesterday. Continue reading “And the roots danced..”
In the car, I made a bubble with a bubble gum. On the street, he made a hundred with his bubble guns..
He didn’t sell any bubble guns, but he beautified the scene… And just as the traffic cleared, and I saw him walk by, I saw his last bubble.
And I burst mine.
– If you were to wake up tomorrow with only the things you were grateful for, would you be satisfied?
– If money didn’t exist, would you still be doing what you do for a living?
– If every word you said would get inscribed on your skin, what words would you speak?
– They say that it’s likely that at least one person thinks of you every night before going to bed. Do you know who that could be in your life? Do they feel loved in return?
– What if, with all the good and bad stuff that makes your life right now, life is just as good as it gets? What if you wake up every day for the rest of your life living today over again?
‘Yes’ sounds nice. ‘No’ is just hard.
‘I’m busy’ is not always true. Sometimes, we’re not busy. We just simply don’t want what we’re being offered.
But I read this thing: Instead of telling yourself ‘I don’t have the time’ try saying ‘That’s just not a priority right now.’ And see how it feels.
If it feels right, you won’t have the guilt while saying ‘no’ or ‘not for now’.
And if it doesn’t feel right when you say ‘That’s just not a priority right now’, you know you want to say ‘yes’ and make time. Because, somehow, it is really important to you.
So, hey, do you want to –
– go shopping this weekend?
– throw a party?
– learn something new?
– buy a new home?
– spend some time with your Mom/ Dad?
You get the drill. 🙂 Hope you’ll try this the next time you’re about to say ‘I just don’t have the time’…