‘But they need me.’
is, many-a-times, a good enough reason for us to stick around doing things we don’t really like, with people who don’t really value us.
And yet, we insist on continuing to assume that role, just a little longer, just until the dust settles, and then we can let go and find ourselves. Because we are the managers, teachers, the parents or the likes with ‘great responsibilities’, and though we wake up everyday imagining a different life for ourselves, we somehow decree that ‘now’ is a bad time to take the next step towards it.
Well, maybe reassess. Maybe your school will still have great teachers on-board to care for the students. Maybe your subordinates do not need your exaggerated effort to keep them together. Maybe your successor, no matter what role you pursue that your heart doesn’t, will do much better than you do.
Not being needed gives you the freedom that you need to walk away. That makes you dispensable – and indeed, available to the things and people you love.
Well sure, we worry all the time that we might look like quitters. But what do we see for ourselves? What would you like to be?
Don’t show up three times, and people will stop asking.
I haven’t shown up for an awful lot the recent years – not to the gym, not to my team’s outings, not for a few friends’ weddings…and the fine is too huge!
2016 was about realizing how just very few people really miss me, and crying a little bit about it. But then it dawned on me: How’ll they miss me if I’m never there?
I’m sure we all say no to a lot of things, we have our own priorities set. But when one or more of the forts of friends, family or the personal self is crumbling, it is surely time to re-assign the priorities.
2017 is that year for me. I have seen forts cracking in their pillars. Forts of personal, professional, financial and social forts. (Yes, ALL of them.) I need to renovate a little – by showing up, by catching up with lost opportunities I still miss today.
And showing up doesn’t mean being everywhere – it means showing up for what or whom you care.
It means being there for those few people, to whom your presence has no substitute.
I got my first sneak peak into the Zen philosophy yesterday; just a soup in the food for thought.
And it was disturbing. And then marvelous.
Disturbing, because it is most inconvenient to fathom that all you are, and all everybody around you is, is mind-body – the co-existence of certain hardware and certain software.
Marvelous, because thankfully Continue reading “Find yourself at home…”
“Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that’s all. You can’t see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.”
~ Mitch Albom
It breaks my heart to have parted ways with so many dear people…people that used to be such a tremendous source of belonging in my life. I don’t know what the future brings, whether these paths might converge again, but I cherish them, I miss them sorely, and I send them love.
Hey there fighter. Soon it’ll be brighter! 🙂
I’m starting off with a series of blog posts called ‘Freedom From…’. Posted twice a week, starting this Wednesday.
Watch out for it.
Can’t can be a dubious word. It gives you the illusion of helplessness, but it is really a choice.
We can’t do so many things; because of so many things, and so many people.
We can’t more than we can.
But if you can, not because everybody approves, not because there are no challenges, but because your faith is bigger than your fears and your will is irreversible, amazing. Go ahead. I won’t be there to take the rough road and weather with you. Maybe no one will be there at all. But that is never the truth.
The truth is that you Continue reading “Where do you live?”