The year of showing up

Don’t show up three times, and people will stop asking.

I haven’t shown up for an awful lot the recent years – not to the gym, not to my team’s outings, not for a few friends’ weddings…and the fine is too huge!

2016 was about realizing how just very few people really miss me, and crying a little bit about it. But then it dawned on me: How’ll they miss me if I’m never there?

I’m sure we all say no to a lot of things, we have our own priorities set. But when one or more of the forts of friends, family or the personal self is crumbling, it is surely time to re-assign the priorities.

2017 is that year for me. I have seen forts cracking in their pillars. Forts of personal, professional, financial and social forts. (Yes, ALL of them.) I need to renovate a little – by showing up, by catching up with lost opportunities I still miss today.

And showing up doesn’t mean being everywhere – it means showing up for what or whom you care.

It means being there for those few people, to whom your presence has no substitute.

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Find yourself at home…

I got my first sneak peak into the Zen philosophy yesterday; just a soup in the food for thought.
And it was disturbing. And then marvelous.

Disturbing, because it is most inconvenient to fathom that all you are, and all everybody around you is, is mind-body – the co-existence of certain hardware and certain software.

Marvelous, because thankfully Continue reading “Find yourself at home…”

Send them love

“Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that’s all. You can’t see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.”

~ Mitch Albom

It breaks my heart to have parted ways with so many dear people…people that used to be such a tremendous source of belonging in my life. I don’t know what the future brings, whether these paths might converge again, but I cherish them, I miss them sorely, and I send them love.

Courage is not optional

It takes courage anyway.

It does take a lot of courage to do things right, no matter what.
But when you don’t make that choice, you can still have the courage to accept responsibility for it and face the consequences chin up.

From fear can rise a lot of complications. While the reality might not be that bad, fear will tell you a totally different story about it. A story filled with mistrust and insecurity. And we are afraid more than we realize.

But at some point, courage, too, rises from fear. It makes you ready to face reality, and gives you back the reins of your life. Courage, is to take responsibility for your fears, and to dissolve each of them by trusting yourself with whatever you do. And by knowing that we are all here for a very short time. That the luxury of love and loving people cannot be taken for granted.

And that in the end, we are all here to love.

Freedom From…Perfection

Picked white flowers fallen on the rain-soaked road on a breezy post-shower evening.

Walked all alone with myself, breathed in the sweet smell of wet mud, and sighed.

As the skies got darker, and so did all the colours of nature around me, I saw the miracle and the life that exists in that changing.

Life exists in changing.

I was alone, and I felt safe in my arms and in my mind.

I looked around, and for a moment, I felt like an invisible particle of the universe, something that existed only to observe and rejoice in the observation.

Then when I closed my eyes and looked nowhere, I felt that what was inside me was the centre of the universe.

I held those flowers together in my muddy hands. I felt the graininess of the moist soil on my fingers. The graininess, that which I came from.

I saw with magnifying eyes, traces of earth, black and brown, sprinkled and smeared across those pretty little whitelings.

What beauty in imperfection! I thought.

I caressed their petals, as the thought caressed my soul.

What I learnt about Love from Maya Angelou

Giving unconditionally.

Knowing that we are all the children of God, beyond age, race or creed.

Protecting, but liberating from protection.

Nurturing, but also a offering a free mould from the nurturing.

Not judging nor classifying as deserving or undeserving.

Not expecting it to be returned.

Forgiving, and accepting completely of having forgiven.

Love is: I love you if you are in the next room, I love you if you are in China, I love you if you are on a different hemisphere. And I’d love you even if you weren’t around anymore.

Love is: I love you for the soul that you are, that cannot be touched, only experienced. I’d love you even if you were a janitor.

Love is: I love you and what you have done to me doesn’t change that. I have forgiven you, and you shouldn’t feel indebted, you should feel loved.

Love is: I raised you, and I did it with more love than sense of duty. I’d like to fiercely protect you and treat you as my responsibility till I die, and I’d like to see you happy and hear you say I did good things for you always. But when you must go, and you ought to, because it is a beautiful world for you to explore, and your explorations will be unique and different from mine. I want you to be happy, and find your own happiness. And you can always come home. I love you. Go.

Love is: I love the human form you gave me, and everything else you gave me ever since. You steered through tough times and made sacrifices, many of which I wasn’t even aware of it. And you taught me that all I want I must work to get. There are still a lot of things to find, a lot of truths to seek. I will find them, but never impose them on you, or try to change you. Because I love you and how you liberated me. And you shall never be forgotten. And your life shall truly be your message. And your child shall be a blessing to the world.

Love is: I love my spirit, and I embrace the mind and body it came with. I love how close I am to the universe, and I can make choices in life every day. I love every bit of my life, and every moment, and every face, and every colour and landscape I see. Because I am empty of everything. But love.