Maybe you are not needed

‘But they need me.’

is, many-a-times, a good enough reason for us to stick around doing things we don’t really like, with people who don’t really value us.

And yet, we insist on continuing to assume that role, just a little longer, just until the dust settles, and then we can let go and find ourselves. Because we are the managers, teachers, the parents or the likes with ‘great responsibilities’, and though we wake up everyday imagining a different life for ourselves, we somehow decree that ‘now’ is a bad time to take the next step towards it.

Well, maybe reassess. Maybe your school will still have great teachers on-board to care for the students. Maybe your subordinates do not need your exaggerated effort to keep them together. Maybe your successor, no matter what role you pursue that your heart doesn’t, will do much better than you do.

Not being needed gives you the freedom that you need to walk away. That makes you dispensable – and indeed, available to the things and people you love.

Well sure, we worry all the time that we might look like quitters. But what do we see for ourselves? What would you like to be?

 

 

 

 

What I learnt about Love from Maya Angelou

Giving unconditionally.

Knowing that we are all the children of God, beyond age, race or creed.

Protecting, but liberating from protection.

Nurturing, but also a offering a free mould from the nurturing.

Not judging nor classifying as deserving or undeserving.

Not expecting it to be returned.

Forgiving, and accepting completely of having forgiven.

Love is: I love you if you are in the next room, I love you if you are in China, I love you if you are on a different hemisphere. And I’d love you even if you weren’t around anymore.

Love is: I love you for the soul that you are, that cannot be touched, only experienced. I’d love you even if you were a janitor.

Love is: I love you and what you have done to me doesn’t change that. I have forgiven you, and you shouldn’t feel indebted, you should feel loved.

Love is: I raised you, and I did it with more love than sense of duty. I’d like to fiercely protect you and treat you as my responsibility till I die, and I’d like to see you happy and hear you say I did good things for you always. But when you must go, and you ought to, because it is a beautiful world for you to explore, and your explorations will be unique and different from mine. I want you to be happy, and find your own happiness. And you can always come home. I love you. Go.

Love is: I love the human form you gave me, and everything else you gave me ever since. You steered through tough times and made sacrifices, many of which I wasn’t even aware of it. And you taught me that all I want I must work to get. There are still a lot of things to find, a lot of truths to seek. I will find them, but never impose them on you, or try to change you. Because I love you and how you liberated me. And you shall never be forgotten. And your life shall truly be your message. And your child shall be a blessing to the world.

Love is: I love my spirit, and I embrace the mind and body it came with. I love how close I am to the universe, and I can make choices in life every day. I love every bit of my life, and every moment, and every face, and every colour and landscape I see. Because I am empty of everything. But love.

One at a time

Can we really live life one day at a time?

 

Or do we spend life one day after another?

 

Can a singer live life one song at a time?

Can he find that one song inside him, and not deviate until he has brought it out into the world? Then soon, he’ll find another song…

 

Can a writer live life one story at a time?

Can he refrain from putting his imagination and effort to rest until he’s written that one story he’s been wanting to write? Then soon, he’ll find another story….

 

Can a Continue reading “One at a time”

Where do you live?

Can’t can be a dubious word. It gives you the illusion of helplessness, but it is really a choice.

We can’t do so many things; because of so many things, and so many people.

We can’t more than we can.

But if you can, not because everybody approves, not because there are no challenges, but because your faith is bigger than your fears and your will is irreversible, amazing. Go ahead. I won’t be there to take the rough road and weather with you. Maybe no one will be there at all. But that is never the truth.

The truth is that you Continue reading “Where do you live?”

The Eat Analogy

Did you eat yesterday? You did, right? Good.

And will you eat tomorrow? You will, I’m sure.

But does the fact that you ate yesterday, and the belief that you will eat tomorrow, keep you from eating today? Are you going to stay hungry and think ‘Nah. I won’t eat today. I’ll finish of the other stuff I need to do. I can eat today’s share tomorrow. And besides, just reminding myself of what I had for lunch yesterday makes me feel full.’

That’s dumb. You want to do it today. You know you have to do it today. And the thought of yesterday or the thought of tomorrow is not going to keep you from doing it today.

I’m sure we all have decided, even if loosely, the things that are important to us. Think of them as eating. Build that analogy in your mind.

And the next time you’re having a meal, you’ll be reminded of that important thing. And it’ll push you to do it.

 

So, have you eaten today?

Die today

People who know they’re going to die soon, are people with some of the craziest, busiest, happiest lives.

They have every reason to be that: they could, after all, die unhappy of a wasted minute.

They’re so busy doing things they wanted to, saying things they wanted to, making trips and learning music and searching for long lost friends, that they don’t realize how much they’ve lived in their few counted days.

What’s sad is people who are still in the dark about their deadline. People who live with the belief that they have a long life to plan for, to secure, to fear for.

And in the process, forget to make trips, to learn music, and keep in touch with long lost friends. And forget, that they might never be lucky enough to know their deadline in advance.

And when it comes, we would die unhappy of unthinkably too many wasted minutes.

In 50 words: Post 3: The dripping

An artist struggles all his life to empty himself. To die dry of every trickle of art.

He wastes his many years in synchronizing his feet and heartbeat with the world’s.

The stagnant pool of  art rises, chin-deep, eye-deep, then blinds him and he sees. Inside. And he starts dripping.

In 50 Words: Day 1: Me

I am a simple woman.

I have goals, but I don’t live at their mercy.

I’m ambitious, but not more than I’m humble.

I enjoy luxury, but I also enjoy letting go.

I have few friends, but we value each other greatly.

I’m not everything. I’m what I’ve made me.

This and that, and that

It is good to want less, I’ve heard. Is it also good to want less from yourself?

 

To want to be one thing less, to struggle toward one dream less, to desire to excel in one thing less?

The inner well of self-belief once discovered, is surprisingly deep and unrealistically wide. We make ourselves want to be extraordinary, we make ourselves believe we have purposes to fulfil. In this world of reckless contest, even more so. We want to learn more, be more, do more. We want to get rid of what we have because we believe we want something else.

We burden ourselves with expectations, then push ourselves, often half-heartedly, the other half filled with pressure and uncertainty.

We push ourselves, yet can never be satisfied by the extent of our push, and we push more. And we exhaust before we achieve.

We feel powerless, and think lesser and lesser of ourselves and our life. We start wishing more. And stop appreciating whatever little or much we have.

At the end of the day, no matter what we have done, or how close we have gotten to our goals, we are still dissatisfied. Unhappy with the extent of our achievement. Because it is nothing when compared to what we fancy ourselves achieving.

Why do this to ourselves? Why think lesser and lesser of our life? Why not cut loose a couple of aspirations, why not ease out the pressure we carry day in and day out?

Why not be just a great something, rather than struggle to be a good everything?

Why not hold on to one thing with both arms, rather than spreading ten fingers ten ways, trying to hold ten things?

Why can’t we get rid of the whip of comparison and expectation?

Why can’t we just do one thing at a time, focus on one thing at a time?

Why do we have to think about a car, a home and a bank balance, when we can just choose one of them to start with?

Most of us spend one-third of our day at work. Some of us even two-thirds. Why can’t we just plain focus on the job, and not on some clout of aspirations that you want to fulfil with the money that it will bring you in the next x years? If not, why can’t we just leave the job, and take the plunge into doing the thing we know would be right and best for us?

Why always this and that? Why not just this or just that? At least for now?

I shall, I shan’t
I will, I won’t
I care, I don’t,
I can, I can’t…

I make my world, I set my mind,
I brace my soul from the hurting kind…
I stretch to heights, I walk into my fall,
But no one does it for me, I do it all…

I love, I loathe,
I tolerate, oppose,
I distance, I hold close,
I shy off, come forth…

I draw my lines, I erase, redraw,
I know my strength, I know my flaw,
If I don’t know for sure, then I don’t know at all,
But no one thinks for me, I do it all…

I fear, I dream,
I befriend, I shun,
I face, I run,
I am what I seem…

I close my fist, I open my heart,
If I am different, I stand apart,
I walk alone, until I’m too tired to fall,
But no one walks for me, I walk through it all…

You lend your ears, your eyes, your hours,
You mend my tears, you wash my scars,
You see my light, you hear me call,
And now you want to do it all…

But I have learnt, and I have burnt,
The need of a hand, or a heart concerned,
And I have taught myself to stand, to crawl,
And pledged myself to endure it all,

No one fights it for me, I fight it all…
And that’s how I sleep sound, and that’s how I walk tall….