His soul. Not for sale.

In the car, I made a bubble with a bubble gum. On the street, he made a hundred with his bubble guns..

He didn’t sell any bubble guns, but he beautified the scene… And just as the traffic cleared, and I saw him walk by, I saw his last bubble.

And I burst mine.

This and that, and that

It is good to want less, I’ve heard. Is it also good to want less from yourself?

 

To want to be one thing less, to struggle toward one dream less, to desire to excel in one thing less?

The inner well of self-belief once discovered, is surprisingly deep and unrealistically wide. We make ourselves want to be extraordinary, we make ourselves believe we have purposes to fulfil. In this world of reckless contest, even more so. We want to learn more, be more, do more. We want to get rid of what we have because we believe we want something else.

We burden ourselves with expectations, then push ourselves, often half-heartedly, the other half filled with pressure and uncertainty.

We push ourselves, yet can never be satisfied by the extent of our push, and we push more. And we exhaust before we achieve.

We feel powerless, and think lesser and lesser of ourselves and our life. We start wishing more. And stop appreciating whatever little or much we have.

At the end of the day, no matter what we have done, or how close we have gotten to our goals, we are still dissatisfied. Unhappy with the extent of our achievement. Because it is nothing when compared to what we fancy ourselves achieving.

Why do this to ourselves? Why think lesser and lesser of our life? Why not cut loose a couple of aspirations, why not ease out the pressure we carry day in and day out?

Why not be just a great something, rather than struggle to be a good everything?

Why not hold on to one thing with both arms, rather than spreading ten fingers ten ways, trying to hold ten things?

Why can’t we get rid of the whip of comparison and expectation?

Why can’t we just do one thing at a time, focus on one thing at a time?

Why do we have to think about a car, a home and a bank balance, when we can just choose one of them to start with?

Most of us spend one-third of our day at work. Some of us even two-thirds. Why can’t we just plain focus on the job, and not on some clout of aspirations that you want to fulfil with the money that it will bring you in the next x years? If not, why can’t we just leave the job, and take the plunge into doing the thing we know would be right and best for us?

Why always this and that? Why not just this or just that? At least for now?

My answer to the puzzle

You can either keep doing what you’re good at doing, or you can pick up something you aren’t very good at, and start learning.

Either way, you need to hold your head up high and believe that what you’ve chosen is best for you.

The world around me looks puzzled at my endeavour and asks me, “What are you doing? Why this job, when you should be performing and getting swooned into fame by fans?”

I say, “I’m doing it because I want to stay stable at something. I cannot be a beginner at everything at the same time. And as far as getting famous, or rather, getting swooned into fame is concerned, I don’t want to get ‘swooned’ into anything. I want to walk myself into it, knowing that its the right time and opportunity, knowing who I am and who I want to be, and that nothing or nobody can change that.”

Shoo away, Corporate Hermit

I recently started working for a large global corporation in the data management and optimization industry. I work there as a German Language Resource, and I’m one of the people responsible for handling front-level business communications with the company’s EMEA (Europe Middle East and Africa) customers.

Sounds great, right? Well, it is, to quite an extent. Now I am back to being the competent young corporate who wants to carve a niche, get beyond the ‘competition’ (I do not like that word), and stay untouched by the stress and the trivialities of an office. I dream of suits and boots, I try to stick to English at my workplace, and most days, I eat alone if I have to. No, that’s not sad. I’d rather choose to not stay hungry than wait until someone else wants to take a break and share a table, too.

But at the back of my mind, I’m always thinking: “Here goes another day without having written anything.” “That song I wanted to write just won’t come to me.” “I am abandoning my creative edge.”

And then I wait for the weekend. Which comes, flies through movie theatres and malls and restaurants, and never comes back until 5 days later.

So here’s what I’ve decided to do: I’m going to meet you everyday. Put my everyday on this blog, like the good old days when I used to start my day writing. I want to do that because I know that if I don’t I might just be baptised and converted by my job into a corporate hermit, who finds no happiness in anything else in life. Don’t want to go there.

So be back here tomorrow. For now, let me continue thinking about the suits I want to buy someday. You think red would be too flashy?

 

The wondrous cliche

Today is a gift.

The four words you read, might have come across to your mind as just words. Clichéd words. Preachy words. Flowery words. And you might forget them the moment you step out of this blog.

But some ordinary day you will mysteriously be touched by this simple 4-worded message somehow, through the voice and the words of a person who loves you, or that of a stranger, or the sight of the rising sun one morning, or a sweet surprise hidden in a phone call or behind the door or under your pillow. A sign of love whose existence you had overseen.

And on that ordinary day, from that particular moment when you realise the worth of ‘today’ as a gift, the gift is yours.

The day you spend gratefully will always be followed by a night you shall sleep through like a child.

Its Gonna Work

‘Its gonna work.’

I know it because now I know how I’m gonna make it work for me.

I might be a slow-starter, but I’m the dark horse.

I might be alone now, but I will surround myself with people who share my vision and enthusiasm, and I will then have a team.

And a team, a powerful one, can realize every vision.

And until I find the right people, I’ll continue to work on my own account, and never stop looking.

I will work towards laying the right foundation, so that when my fabulous team stands upon it, the tallest of ambition will be within the reach of our hands.

Its all gonna work. From now on.

Irrelevance is bliss

Every single day, we become what we do. And in the process, there may be some days when we ourselves are tired of being what we are, and doing what we do. Subconsciously, we still love ourselves, but too much dust of monotony gathers over it, and it needs to be replenished and shined.

On such days, the mind will wander in strange directions, and prompt you to do irrelevant things you never thought of doing, and if you go along with all your heart, and decide that you will not regret it, you will come back all shining and replenished.

I am a writer, a German Language teacher, and a singer. But one fine day last week, I was in for a big surprise.

A doctor who had come in from Germany asked me if I wanted to join him in the operation theatre while he performed surgery.  I was one among a bunch of medical interns observing two critical surgeries. It was the most bizarre thing I’ve done till date. But even there, I learnt something about myself. I learnt that I was a stronger person than I thought. And I realized how amazing our inner world really is, and how similar we all are from the inside. Plus, I met a really nice person, so I now have one more friend from the other side of the world.

The afterglow of the most bizarre day of my life is still working. Sometimes, you just have to get the hell out of your world and go discover another one; one you never even thought of.

To start

To start is not everything. Persistence, is everything.

True. As is the first impression, the first step, the first words. They sure mean a lot.

But none of these make any sense unless you clear your mind, and start.

You may want to give yourself ample time in advance to make the best preparations, to ensure that what you’re about to start goes a long way, and meets the success you want it to.

But at some point, you’ve got to stop analysing, planning, contemplating and perfecting. And you’ve got to make that start; however terrifying the mere thought of it might appear, and however stiff your first impression would turn out, however unstructured your first words might turn out to be; you would’ve at least made a start. And a start opens to an ocean of experiences, possibilities and a journey you can manoeuvre yourself through. If you don’t like the direction, you can change it. You can take it wherever you want. The journey belongs to the one who starts on it.

Don’t over-think. Make that start. And celebrate it.

The longer you wait, the lesser time you have.

Beyond comparison

Compare yourself with those you admire, and you’ll deem yourself less.

Compare yourself with those you pity, and you’ll deem yourself better.

Compare yourself with your yesterday, and then you’ll know your true worth.

Its simple. Your struggles are yours. And so are your pleasures and victories. And so is your worth. Nobody can walk, run, talk, smile, think or breathe like you. You have your own price. Your own mind, your own opinion and your own price. And you are beyond comparison. And those who compare you to anyone else, for whatever reason, do not realize that. You must, though.

And if you must, at any cost, measure your depths and heights, close your eyes, stand before yourself like you would have 5 years ago, and observe. What more and what less are you? And how much more do you want to be?