Nothing wrong

There is nothing wrong with being myself. There is nothing wrong with falling in love. There is nothing wrong with feeling emotionally overwhelmed. There is nothing wrong in not knowing to drive. There is nothing wrong in not being the ‘alpha’-woman. There is nothing wrong in not having the perfect figure. There is nothing wrong in not knowing to speak perfect English. There is nothing wrong with having had a failed relationship or a violent one. There is nothing wrong in not having had any relationships at all.

But I will keep wanting to better myself. In whatever little steps I can take. I will keep challenging myself. Without stretching my identity and conscience beyond limit, I will do my best to be perfect and flawless. It might take me time. But I realise, and so does the little sphere of light that guides me from somewhere within, a light I call God, that I am constantly working towards overcoming my fears and shortcomings and scars. You might not see it. Or you might see it but not acknowledge it. And that might hurt me immensely, because I am more emotional than many. But at the bottom of my heart, I know that I need to rise, I know I need to move on without waiting for approval or appreciation or even support, for deep inside, I know that what matters most to me is that my conscience is clear, and that I live my life without being a burden to anyone, that I enjoy my term in this bountiful life, and that when I die, I embrace death with open arms and watery eyes, as if it were you.

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