Cul de sac

Sure, I’m a writer, but I’m not even close to being what I really can be.

In our times of creative freedom and freedom from all worldly pressures, we sometimes do things with so much focus and such relentless determination; and we’re so intoxicated by our passion for what we’re doing, that we do not realise we’re at our ‘zen’. And years later, when we read and hear from philosophers what zen is, and we’re busy seeking it, we peek into our yesterday and find ‘Hey! I did that? I can’t believe I did that! That’s like, the ‘Zen’ thing!!’

I just bumped into the ‘zen’ of my past. I call myself a writer today, but I skimmed through some high-school days’ essays, and I figured I wrote much better and with a much more open heart and optimism than I do today. That was my ‘zen’. I came across the word ‘cul de sac’ in one of my essays, and I thought, ‘Cul de sac? I wrote that word? That was my vocabulary? What does that word even mean?’ Someday, as a 15-year old, I used to know that word (and many more like that one). Today, I don’t know what it means, and it sounded like I had heard it for the first time.

Where’s my zen? Can I recreate it? I’m going to try. I’m getting back to reading big time, enjoying it, and buying a big fat notebook like the ones I had and wrote my ‘zen’ in. I’m doing it TODAY.

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